(Not Enough) Cocaine in the White House
A completely sincere take on current events.
Sunday’s discovery of cocaine in the White House provides endless fodder for jokes at the expense of President Biden’s ne’er-do-well son, Hunter. Jim Geraghty does just this, highlighting the absurdity and injustice of Hunter getting off scot-free for his drug- and firearms-related crimes when his dad helped pass tough-on-crime bills in the 80s and 90s as a senator.
As funny as it may be—it is—to point out that the emperor’s son has no clothes, it is unlikely that the cocaine belongs to Hunter. For starters, the nose candy was found in the “work area of the West Wing,” (italics added) according to a spokesman for the Secret Service. Whether Hunter is hiding out in White House or loitering about at events, one thing’s for certain: this guy does not work; illicit substances in work areas certainly do not belong to him.
So, who snorted it?
Geraghty references a BBC article that locates the blow “in an area that is accessible to tour groups while doing a routine inspection.” Is a White House tourist to blame? Given the byzantine process of arranging an official White House tour and the “rigmarole” of security, including drug-sniffing K-9s, this hypothesis seems unlikely. Who does that leave?
Staff members.
Geraghty does not find this explanation persuasive, saying “White House staffers are not known to be notorious drug users.” Of course, the staffers are not notorious in their drug use—they’d be fired posthaste if their use of Schedule I substances were well-known. But that leaves open the possibility that there are clandestine drug users staffing the White House.
If these staffers were smoking dope, there would be serious cause for concern: nobody gets anything done on cannabis; the taxpayer would be paying White House staffers to do jack squat. Conversely, if the staffers are hitting the slopes during the workday, whatever they’re doing, they’re giving it 110%. And they may even be working!
Is it right to fault a public servant for working harder than expected?
I think not.